Chapter 3: The Importance of Personal Time Alone Together
Chapter 3: The Importance of Personal Time Alone Together
In the midst of life’s demands, carving out intentional time to spend alone with your spouse is essential for nurturing emotional intimacy, rekindling romance, and sharing dreams. Without this time, even the strongest marriages can grow distant as the pressures of work, family, and daily life take over. In this chapter, we’ll explore the biblical foundation for prioritizing your relationship, the benefits of personal time together, and practical steps to make it a regular part of your life.
The Biblical Foundation for Togetherness
The Bible emphasizes the importance of unity and intimacy within marriage. Genesis 2:24 declares:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This verse reminds us that marriage is a unique bond requiring intentional effort to remain close and connected. Time alone together helps maintain this bond and fulfills God’s design for marriage.
The Song of Solomon provides a beautiful example of romantic love within a godly context. In Song of Solomon 2:10-13, we read:
“My beloved speaks and says to me: ‘Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away…’”
This invitation to “come away” underscores the importance of creating moments of undivided attention and affection.
Why Personal Time Together Matters
- Strengthens Emotional Intimacy
Spending uninterrupted time together allows couples to share their thoughts, feelings, and dreams. Open communication fosters a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and desires. - Rekindles Romance
Amid the chaos of daily responsibilities, it’s easy to lose sight of the romantic connection that brought you together. Setting aside time for each other rekindles the passion and joy of being in love. - Builds Trust and Unity
Quality time provides opportunities to address challenges, celebrate victories, and align your goals. Amos 3:3 asks:
“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to meet?”
Regular connection ensures you’re walking the same path. - Sets an Example for Your Family
Modeling a strong and loving relationship teaches your children the value of prioritizing their future marriages.
Practical Ways to Prioritize Time Alone Together
- Schedule Regular Date Nights
Block out time on your calendar each week or month for a date night. Whether it’s a fancy dinner, a walk in the park, or an evening at home, consistency is key. - Create Daily Moments of Connection
Spend at least 15-30 minutes each day talking without distractions. This could be over coffee, during a walk, or before bed. - Plan Getaways
Occasionally, take a weekend trip or a day away from home to focus entirely on each other. - Unplug from Technology
During your time together, turn off your phones and other devices to eliminate distractions and fully engage with one another. - Pray and Worship Together
Spiritual intimacy is as vital as emotional and physical intimacy. Spend time in prayer, read Scripture, or worship together.
Q&A: Common Challenges and Solutions
Q: What if we’re too busy to spend time alone?
A: Everyone is busy, but priorities determine how you spend your time. Start small—commit to 10 minutes a day and gradually increase your time together.
Q: How do we reconnect after feeling distant?
A: Begin by acknowledging the distance without blame. Pray together, express your desire to reconnect, and take small steps like talking daily or planning a date.
Q: What if our interests are different?
A: Use this as an opportunity to learn about each other. Alternate choosing activities and be open to trying new things. The effort matters more than the activity itself.
A Call to Action
- Schedule Your First Date Night: Choose a day this week and plan an activity you’ll both enjoy.
- Start a Daily Check-In: Spend 10 minutes talking without distractions every evening.
- Set Long-Term Goals: Plan a getaway within the next three months to focus entirely on each other.
Proceed to Chapter 4: Raising Children Together as a Unified Team